Simple Life

It's a little past 6:30, day 3 of being back on the west side of the Atlantic, or more appropriately the east of the Pacific now that I Googled the world map (my geography really needs work - actually, my whole brain needs to get back to work, it's been taking quite a break). The sun is already illuminating the cielo at its full intensity; typical of summer combined with daylight saving, and a great way to get a energized early start to your morning, but I'm still suffering from jet lag. We all are. That pesky phenomenon caused by the convenient but artificial air travel that's too fast for the natural human biological clock to handle. I hope we evolve eventually to adapt to time zones seamlessly, once we use technology for long enough. A hundred, maybe a thousand years? I don't know if it's better to bring back old ways into our lives that suits nature more, or to constantly keep up with new practices and try to progress in evolution. Both options are inevitabl...

So over the months, I've realized that I didn't follow through on my original plan of writing daily, which I had when I started this blog. It was both due to getting lazy, and other work being prioritized. In fact, I went from posting every day (which I think only lasted for 2 days) to maybe once or twice a week, to completely forgetting about it and only posting when I felt like vomiting disgust/complaints, which you can see in my last two posts, scattered throughout months. Because that's what I used it for, to let out stress through words. But I'm changing that this summer. Now I've decided that is too selfish, to exploit a public service for this measly and morally questionable purpose, because now I'm making this place truly public, which means I'll let colleges and other significant people see it. It's technically always been public - anyone can see it - and don't worry, all you readers are important to me, no matter how few (I saw the stats...

As I was running to school this morning --- because, as I speculated, it was one of  those  days...days when I woke up not remembering what happened, only with a sudden insight that something is happening, and in this case forgetting to set my alarm or do any of my usual routines before going to bed, including plugging the phone in, setting it on airplane mode, turning on do not disturb, and putting it face down on the nightstand-chair with sleep cycle tracking, and waking up to find that I was going to miss my bus, and instead of rushing up and getting going which was possible in 10 minutes, I just lay there, trying to figure out what happened, and  despacito  crawled out of bed and perform my morning routine, slowly, and decided to run to school, supporting it with the rationale that the early exercise will give a nice boost to my performance on the test and anything else for the whole day really --- I was met with a pleasant surprise. I went the alternate route ...

Who am I? Who do I want to be? "Lost boy" is who I am. I'm about the most clueless person you can meet. I don't know what I'll do with my life. And you know why? I guess it can be Erikson's identity crisis, yeah, I'm having a very bad case of it if that is the case. Writing? Yeah I can write. My dad seems to think so too. But I kind of suck. Sometimes. No, all the time. See? I don't know. I'm just vomiting words, again. I write like everybody else. The most defeating thing I see is when I finish a paper, with a lot of effort, a lot of misery - staying up late and being hyper stressed physiologically as some examples - but then I see other people's work and my own becomes less than mediocre. Like, do you actually enjoy reading this right now? Is it even possible? I'd be surprised. Because I'm disgusted at this. But it helps me feel good. At least I write without grammar mistakes and spelling disasters. I mean, not as much as the worst I...